Note: All of the opinions are my own. I am respectful of everyone’s views on this topic
Have you noticed how much sex there is in the media? Last night, while I was eating ice cream after a long day, there was a commercial for a new movie called Sex Tape. I’m sorry, what? The media is so obsessed with sex that they are actually making a movie about a couple, making a sex tape? Why? In fact, why all the sex in the media? I don’t get the obsession nor the message of “You HAVE to have sex. If you’re not, you’re a loser”.
I am a virgin and I am saving myself for marriage. Honestly, I don’t get the need of having sex, unless you actually have known your boyfriend/girlfriend for a long time. If two people just met after a day, week, or month etc., and are already having it, I think that’s way too soon. You should have sex with someone you trust and actually know. What if your sexual partner was actually using you for sex and broke up with you right after? Or what if you sexted him/her and he/she send the photos to his/her friends? And most of all, what if you made a baby with your partner and you hardly know him or her? If you’re just having a sex for the heck of sex or lusting for someone, then sex is meaningless.
According to my Christian faith, you have sex with your married partner. It is described as very pure and beautiful, and intimate and very close to express your love for each other. I know what you’re thinking. If you don’t want to wait until marriage, just make sure you actually know the person. You should wait until marriage, but I won’t judge if you do not wait.
How is the media, ruining the concept of sex? In some television shows that I watch, there are one night stands or constant sex with people they just met. It gives out the message that this is how sex is supposed to be like. Just have sex with anyone you want, anytime you want. As the naive person I am, this message honestly just confuses me, despite what my religion says. Is this how sex suppose to work?
I’m going to use ABC Family’s new show, Young and Hungry as an example. I watch Pretty Little Liars and Switched at Birth, so I’ve seen lots of trailers of this show. And from what I’ve seen, Emily Osment’s character just got hired by an entrepreneur. But, the entrepreneur’s girlfriend dumps him. And to make it all better, the main character has sex with the guy. First of all, story-wise, where did that even come from? Did they had a sexual attraction to each other, at first? From other clips that I watch with the commercials, it looks like they spend the rest of the episode, talking about it. Does this lead to anywhere in the series? Did the girl get pregnant because of it? Do they go out afterwards? (I’m guessing yes.) Like what is the point of the sex? Second, morally wise, why? Why did they have sex with each other, especially that they hardly know each other? What’s the point of them, having sex? This does give the wrong message to people, especially the target audience in general: Sex is the answer to all of theproblems. Well, guess what? No, it isn’t.
And when I mean sex, I only don’t mean the actual thing. I also mean the portrayal of men and women, especially women. The portrayal of women, in particular, is disgusting. In many times, especially through movies, TV shows, commercials, and magazines such as Playboy and Vanity Fair), women are portrayed as sex objects. You normally see these women in either short, cleavage-showing outfits or in bikinis. When this is in TV shows and movies, the men characters would ogle or/and lust after them. And sometimes, it does ends with sex. Why? Because according to media, women are only made to serve men and their sexual desires. Men also get the same treatment as women, especially in movies and TV shows about bachelorette parties. We see men half-naked with tight underpants while the women characters ogle them. This gives both genders some of the worst messages: We are made to satisfy each other’s sexual desires, which is not true. While we are made to make more people with sex, we are created to work with other people and make friends with them, and be nice and respectful of each other. We are also made to make our societies strong with goodness and wisdom. Hollywood’s society is messed up for numerous of reasons, but it is still always glamorize by the media. The general message of “You can have sex with anyone, anytime you want” is while definitely not the worst reason, but is harmful to society today.
Finally, what all of you are thinking might be, “This girl is stupid. She says we can’t have sex at all and have fun with it.” No, that’s not what I’m saying. Yes, have sex and have fun with it. And again, I respect your views. So, if you have sex with a random person, I don’t care. Why would I care? It’s none of my business. And you are still a good person. What I am saying to everyone is to have sex responsibly with a suggestion to wait until marriage if you can. And you are also thinking, “This girl is so stupid. She is a virgin and she only believes in sex until marriage because of her stupid religion. She knows nothing about sex.” Like I said in the beginning, this is only a opinion that I have. Obviously, I am not a pro in sex. Honestly, I feel awkward, talking about this. But just because I am saving myself, it doesn’t mean that I’m not allowed to talk about it. I’m not shaming sex in any way. I am shaming Hollywood and its message that both are ruining the meaning of sex. I am encouraging everyone to stop listening to Hollywood’s message on sex and have sex when you are actually ready. If you had not have sex, there is nothing wrong with you. There is no rush in having sex. Take your time. It will happen when it happens, and hopefully with the right person. Just be patient.
Serdar, Kathy. “Female Body Image and the Mass Media: Perspectives on How Women Internalize the Ideal Beauty Standard.” . Westminster College, n.d. Web. 20 June 2014. <http://www.westminstercollege.edu/myriad/index.cfm?parent=…&detail=4475&content=4795>.